[Party stills above him, too, Ghoul doesn't have to lift a fucking finger.] It--sure.
[Not even gradual, the grip is gone, the touch is gone, and he's pressing back against the wall.] Sure, cuz if it's upset you it matters, huh? Don't die, like a fuckin puppy, don't die, Party Poison, but if it fucking matters to me--
[No, Party's right, and Ghoul thinks - you've ruined everything else. Push it. Keeping pushing, keep expanding, but he's not sure he can take Party leaving him too. He sucks in a shivering breath, and turns on his side, pulls himself up.]
M'an asshole. [Ghoul tells him, tired.] I don't say the right shit and I don't act how I oughta, and it ain't - an excuse, it ain't. [He very carefully reaches for Party's foot, figuring that's safeish.]
S'just I could never imagine me matterin' as much s'you. M'sorry.
Don't lie to me. [He warns fiercely, but his knees give and relax. He leans forward to brush his palms up Ghoul's wrist.] If you lie to me, I'm gonna lose it, G. If you go, I go, if you topple off, I'm jumping after you, so you better not fucking lie to me.
[Ghoul drags in a breath.] I said okay. [He keeps his grip.] Can't do it right off. I can't. Gotta work myself off of it, I can't -- do the cold turkey shit again, not here.
[He hums:] Don't snap at me. [But settles his hands more surely on Ghoul's arm, in the front of his sweatshirt.] ...Alright. Alright, I didn't mean to get mad. I didn't mean it. C'mere.
[Ghoul curls closer almost immediately, hiding his face in Party's chest. It makes it easier to lie if he doesn't have to look Party in the face.] M'sorry. M'sorry, this place - this place's hard. S'fucking me over.
[With Ghoul against his chest, it's easier to get a good, indiscreet look around the room. Living in one place for so long, he's gotta have hiding spots. Party will have to come back.] Fuck it back. [He mutters and finds the place he was at before--the comforting place, where the touch at Ghoul's back is meant to soothe, where he's soft and quiet again. Tomorrow they can figure out steps. Later he can try to weasel out stash. Tonight is too hard.]
I don't--whattayou need? And not a fight, I'm not fuckin fighting you. Why doncha lie flat, I'll rub you down.
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[Not even gradual, the grip is gone, the touch is gone, and he's pressing back against the wall.] Sure, cuz if it's upset you it matters, huh? Don't die, like a fuckin puppy, don't die, Party Poison, but if it fucking matters to me--
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M'an asshole. [Ghoul tells him, tired.] I don't say the right shit and I don't act how I oughta, and it ain't - an excuse, it ain't. [He very carefully reaches for Party's foot, figuring that's safeish.]
S'just I could never imagine me matterin' as much s'you. M'sorry.
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I don't--whattayou need? And not a fight, I'm not fuckin fighting you. Why doncha lie flat, I'll rub you down.